You can be an opinion writer without being obnoxious
Good morning everyone and thank you so much for stopping by!
I would like to address the subject of being an opinion writer for a moment today. To me it is ironic how many good folks have a low opinion of someone who shares their opinions in a straight forward manner on an opinion based website or blog. The funniest part about that is that unless you write pure text book blogs all blogs in one way or the other are opinion based. The difference is that it isn’t clearly labeled that way.
One of the misconceptions I encounter from time to time is that if you are an opinion writer you have to be obnoxious, rude, and without substance. Nothing could be further from the truth actually. In most cases being informed is a prerequisite before you can write a good opinion piece. This means you don’t just throw something out there, but actually pick a topic carefully and research it a little bit first. How can you form an opinion without being at least mildly informed to begin with?
Are some of the topics and opinions going to be offensive? Certainly simply because they voice a personal intake on a subject matter that some people will disagree with. Pay attention in your own circle of friends and acquaintances. You can’t go through the day without offending someone. You don’t even have to open your mouth half the time to be labeled as offensive. Maybe you wore something that is not within another persons moral standard. Maybe you are eating something you enjoy but someone else finds as wrong.
Reality is that you are going to offend someone today if you leave the house. Regardless of what you do, say or not do, someone is going to get their nose out of joint. It is sadly a simple fact of life these days.
I have published a book called “Not quiet Satan” a few years ago via lulu.com. The title alone was offensive to a lot of people. The book didn’t sell very often simply because the title seemed so “out of step” with many. Add to it that it is a pure opinion / sarcasm / humor book and you have a grand mixture of “How dare she?”
I have decided to edit, rewrite and extent the book within the next two weeks in the form of a second edition. Having learned from the mistake of the first title I am going to change it slightly, but the original title phrase “Not quiet Satan” will remain. By the way, no that isn’t a spelling mistake.
The book is held in a humorous way and depicts some of societies most noticeable idiocies these days. The reason it is titled ”Not quiet Satan” is because I am having “Satan” (as in the scapegoat) be my co-writer or sparing partner in it. With other words he refuses to remain quiet or silent.
As an opinion writer nothing is truly safe from me and that of course includes my own foolishness. As I pull the shades away from many topics and shine some glaring light on the dark recesses I most of the time uncover my stupidity as well. Don’t ever think that an opinion writer is exempt from making some really poor choices.
For me at least I think that is where my writing becomes a little easier to swallow for many. I don’t just point the finger at everyone else, but readily laugh and point the finger at myself as well. I am not greater than you, nor do I claim to be perfect in any way. Matter of fact one of my favorite statements is: “I am perfectly imperfect!”
I belief that the one reason an opinion writer is frequently so poorly thought of is that it seems as if they belief only their opinion is valid and counts. That is ridiculous actually since we are all entitled to our own opinions. Matter of fact I encourage people to form their own opinions about my writing an my opinions as well.
To me being an opinion writer is a service in many ways. I simply voice the things out loud many may be afraid to speak about in a public form. This not only gives them validation that they are not alone in their thoughts, but it also gives others the opportunity to think about the topic at hand as well and form their own conclusions.
Consider it as an open invitation for discussion. I try not to cuss too much or be overly rude in the way I word things. Of course at times when you feel extremely passionate about certain topics you may not edit your language as well as you might like. I am guilty of that myself at times.
The one thing that is for certain is that being an opinion writer means you need to have a lot of courage and grow a really thick skin fast.
Now my dear readers it is your turn. I would like to know YOUR OPINION on opinion writing.
As always yours truly
Regina Sunderland
http://iwriteforcash.com
http://theopionatedwriter.com
http://witchjournal.info
Yahoo Contributor Network getting harder to work for!
I started on Yahoo Contributor Network back in 2007 when it was still Associated Content and over the year published roughly 170 Articles in different categories and on a wide variety of topics. My cloud level there is a solid 10, which pretty much shows that over the years I have worked my earned by “writers wings”.
Ever since Yahoo Contributor Network took over a few things have changed and not necessarily to the better either. Before you were able to share your knowledge pretty much in any way you desired as long as it was written reasonably well. Now they “prefer” a particular writing style to which you need to conform in order to be able to get an up front payment, which is pitifully small to begin with. Is it just me or have the pre-payments been lowered?
Page views seem to be missing which affects your royalty payments. Remember that you get a certain amount of money per so many page views each month. I can track from my various blogs which of my Articles have been viewed and those alone don’t even match up with the page view claims that are made on my account. Very frustrating. Now please remember those don’t even reflect the views which may have come from search engines or readers happening on my content.
Many of the more prolific Authors are leaving Yahoo Contributor Network for this reason. Is it a glitch and growing pains or are we truly being ripped off? I don’t know and I would not presume to know the answer to it. At this moment I am simply making the assumption that Yahoo just doesn’t care about the Writers enough to assure they are happy and taken care of.
I have not submitted a new Article in about 2 months now after I saw the downward spiral develop and I am seriously debating if I should start spending more time on adding new material or not. It is a shame to leave a place in which you have already established yourself and have gained a few friends. For now I will keep my account active on there and probably try to publish a couple of new Articles a week again. Of course I will keep a close eye on the hits I receive via my blogs and which are credited to me. Afterall writing is not “just” my passion but my career as well.
My hope is that Yahoo Contributor Network will clear out the cobwebs soon and make it once more a great place for writers of all topic ranges to not only earn a few extra dollars, but feel appreciated and respected again.
In the meantime I think I will create a webring and a basic contributor link exchange page on my blogs http://iwriteforcash.com , http://reginasunderland.com and my new upcoming blog for writers who are interested in networking (to be announced soon).
Please feel free to join the webring and/or add your yahoo contributor profile URL as well as your personal website or blog if you have one to the YC Contributor Link Exchange page via the comment feature. I will take them and add them to the blog page itself as they come in. I only ask that you do the same on your own blog as well so we can keep the cycle flowing. Make sure you add your page address for this in the command box as well.
Thank you so much and good luck to all my fellow writers!
As always
Regina S.
http://theopionatedwriter.com
http://witchjournal.info
http://iwriteforcash.com
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New Years resolutions – a waste of time?
Are you someone who sets New Years resolutions every year just to break them within a couple of weeks or days? Every year we set out into the New Year with good intentions, only to turn around and fall for the same old habits and mistakes again. The problem is that we are creatures of habit. We get stuck in the same routines, ways of doing things, ways of thinking etc. The only way we can break those habits is by actually learning from the things we have done wrong or see clearly what didn’t work for us the year before.
Instead of making New Years resolutions I have a habit of doing a year in review. I can’t see what is ahead of me, but I can see what is behind me. I can learn from what I didn’t do so well and see where I can make slight changes in order to be better in the year ahead.
Normally I start this during the last two weeks of December and work my way through every aspect of the year. Since I keep extensive journals, records and notes this is not all that difficult to do for me. I keep each thing in its own category and is it was something I could control or if it was out of my control. Actually admitting that some things are out of my control is extremely difficult for me and was something I learned to get better at a little bit at a time. That is actually where the seperation of under my control and out of my control originally came from. Of course I am not allow to make excuses either.
I do have to be honest with myself at all times. Now ones I have my lists done I can go over them. The things listed under out of my control are just disregard. No matter what I would change there is nothing I could do to change it if it was to happen again. The only thing I can do different is be a little more prepared.
When I look over let’s say the work category I will see themes emerging quickly. Usually it is the same mind set, the same mistake, the same habit repeatedly that caused the problem to begin with. I can now take action and eliminate what has caused the problem. For example I had went into a total burn out last year because I had set too many expectations for myself and had too many venues which didn’t even bring me any money in. My organization had become faulty and instead of being realistic I just cramped too much into an ungodly stretch of time. This of course was a recipe for disaster. No matter what the underlying reason for this was, I went about it the wrong way and in the end caused myself more harm than good. The resolution was a bit uncomfortable for me at first since I hate admitting defeat, but in the end correct a major problem in the relationship sector as well. You have to remember that a lot of the different aspects always have a cause and consequence reaction.
By getting rid of the blogs which didn’t bring me any income or had very low traffic, I reduced my daily work load. Making it possible for me to get through the work load I set myself and take some time off. Which in turn lowered my stress levels and made me more willing and able to spend time with my husband in a fun way. Which in turn made our relationship a lot funner and healthier.
So instead of making resolutions I took action and started the New Year off with a healthier habit. This of course makes it possible for me to sustain it, since I had already gotten myself into a habit and used to it.
Another thing I do is see if something really needs changing or if I just need to adjust the way I perceive or handle it. I am a very opionated person, but 80% of the time my opinions are based on facts instead of assumptions. Instead of trying to “keep my opinions society friendly and so feeling as if I have to be a hypocrite and lie through my teeth, I have given myself an outlet in which I speak my mind without censoring my thoughts. I clearly labled it. Being opionated is not a bad thing and simply means that you can “think for yourself” instead of blindly following what everyone else says or does. You are being authentic.
For example todays blog post on “The Opionated Writer” was about Walmart. The way we act, the way the associates are treated and the stupidity of the higher echolon there. You can read this here! Yes this piece is full of straight forward opinions, but all of them are based on facts.
Now since the title alone “The Opionated Writer” tells you already what sort of person and writer I am, you can simply avoid it if those sort of blogs irritate you. You are clearly warned of its content and context before going there. If you don’t like reading someone elses opinion you just stay away from it.
You see once again instead of making the New Years resolution that I will be society and politically correct (which is not in my nature) I created a safe place which is clearly marked to vent and be myself. If I would have made this as my New Years resolution I would have broken it in 10 seconds flat since it goes against my personality. Now however I can write my posts in a “reader friendly” way on all other blogs and be my opionated little self on the blog designated for it. Works out all the way around!
I guess I suggest that you find solutions instead of making resolutions.
What is your take on this? I would love to hear what you have to say on this topic. Drop me a comment and tell us how you handle your growth in 2012!
As always
Regina S.
Sometimes you just can’t meet your goals!
I started the New Year out with a daily work schedule and goal which I set for myself. That is extremely important since I do run so many different online businesses by myself. If I wouldn’t do these plans I would fall flat on my face again and end up forgetting something important.
The downside to this is that I work out of my house and with that can be interrupted a lot. I am also married which means often my plans and schedules get changed on a moments notice if my husband wants to do something. That in a way if the beauty and downfall of working for yourself and out of your home. It is really hard for those who work outside the house to understand that you have to be just as diligent if not more so in your efforts in order to meet your financial goals each month.
I am one of those lucky women who has a husband who wants her with him everywhere he goes. We don’t belief in “guys night out” or “girls only night”. We do things as a couple, which has helped us avoid a lot of misunderstandings and needless drama. Of course it is also really difficult when I have to work and he is off. Since I am accountable only to myself, he often has a difficult time understanding why I can’t just drop things when he is ready to go. So instead of causing major waves in my relationship over something that can be adjusted on my end, I just play catch up later.
This week was one of those situations. I am going to lose 3 full work days since we were going to be out running around trying to find things for his newest hobby. Something I am slowly being roped into as well. Smiles, not that I mind. I love doing things with my honey. This of course means that my updates are going to be late, have to be back dated and I’ll end up having to work in the evening instead and work on my scheduled day off. All things which I couldn’t do if I was working for someone else.
Now of course I have to watch out that I don’t fall into the wrong habits of last year. Which means I actually have to be willing to shrug my shoulders and say: “What doesn’t get done, just doesn’t get done. I get a new week next week.” It also means I have to take a look at priorities. Which of the things I need to catch up on have the greatest potential of bringing me a profit and which are still in the seeding period. The ones in the seeding period I can leave at the wayside for one week if I have to, the ones already established and dependent on me following through have to be done.
What I can’t do is drive myself crazy over them. I take the days off knowing that I will fall behind, but I am weighting out what is more important to me. My husbands happiness and our relationship or my schedule and convenience. Since I love my husband more than anything else, he will always win out in the end. That is just a choice I made a couple of years back. Of course now he is going to have to understand on Thursday that I will have to put a full days work in and will not be available to him but in bits and pieces. Something he knows and understands. I know I will be able to count on him to help me out a little bit with household related things as well.
I have recently filmed a relaxation mesmerization clip which deals with this. It was created for everyone who simply can not shut down and realize that sometimes you just have to say: “It is ok for me to tell others they have to wait a little while because I can not be in all places at once.”
We create stress for ourselves more than is necessary. Slow down a little bit, realize that sometimes you just can’t meet your goals and you will be surprised how much more you will actually accomplish once you take the pressure off.
As always
Regina S.
Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate
It’s here, Christmas Day, and by now you have already ripped through your presents, sang a few songs or cried your tears. Not all of us celebrate Christmas, but for those of you who do I hope it is all you wanted it to be. My wish for you is one of peace, of happiness, of blessings, of being in the arms for your family and especially with someone you love.
I am not a Christian so I do not celebrate Christmas instead I celebrate Winter Solstice and that happened a few days ago. I do remember the years when my kids were small so and back than we celebrated Christmas for them. I never saw any reasons to make one celebration ok and boo boo another. Especially when it comes to the little ones. My favorite part of Christmas day was by far watching my kids opening their presents and acting sillier than usual. If you want to see joy – that is that time. Eyes glowing, little fingers going quickly and half the time them rolling around in the wrapping paper. You could have thought I had kittens instead of kids.
Somehow it made all the shopping stress and irritations we adults put ourselves through for days before that worth it. Those few moments when there is nothing but happiness in their little eyes.
What are your favorite moments on Christmas Day? I would love to have you share them with us.
Blessings to all
Regina S.
Sorry for the long absence everyone or the story of a recovering workaholic.
It has been a while since I posted on here and I am sure some of you thought that perhaps I had fallen off the face of the earth. As you saw by my last blog post I had a few personal problems which I was trying to work through. Aside from that we (my husband and I) had to deal with yet another death in the family. This is really starting to become a bad tradition around the holidays it seems for this family. Make that three years in a row now.
Aside from all of this I have worked hard on trying to finish some of my “adult” related projects and redid a couple of my websites. Time just seems to get away from me these days and I had really ended up turning into a workaholic of sorts. Not good for your health nor your personal relationships I assure you.
Since my last blog post I have published a new book called: “Not all that glitters is gold” and opened 4 new cafepress stores up as well. I finally officially opened my blog http://www.iwriteforcash.com something I have pushed out for way too long. It really wasn’t a matter of procrastination as much as I had honestly bitten off more than I could chew anymore with all the blogs and websites I run.
As you are aware I am known by my Domina Name Goddess Bella Donna as well and about 3 weeks ago I finally made the decision to downsize things and streamline them by quiet a bit. During my last count before this decision finally took place I owned and operated 48 websites and blogs being the one sole responsible for the production of content, marketing, advertisement and of course providing a huge variety of services as well. I was working once again upwards of 14 hours a day solid and my private life was almost non-existent any longer.
One night (yes night since with a heavy work load like this one I often worked until 2 am in the morning before I finally fell asleep on my couch utterly exhausted and brain dead) I drew a blank. It was literally as if my brain had been wiped clean of all thought. It wasn’t one of those little brain farts we all get from time to time. I was literally blank. If you would have asked me at that moment what my name was I would not have been able to tell you. With other words I had hit 100% complete and utter burn out.
I sat in front of my trusty little laptop which I use these days for all of my writing and felt a stream of hot tears just flowing in rivers down my face. The funny thing was I didn’t even realize I was crying until that moment when I wiped the wetness from my face. I have no idea how long I actually sat there like this, crying silently and staring blankly at my laptop screen. What I do know is that much later I finally drug myself off to sleep and slept for almost 16 hours solid. I am actually surprised that my husband didn’t come in to check if I was still alive or had died in my sleep. Than again maybe he did and I just don’t know it.
When I woke up so I got my cup of coffee, my cigarette and a piece of toast and went to my little office to begin work and stopped dead in my tracks. I was not ready to put yet another grueling day of work in and be stuck once again in my little office by myself working away on entirely too many projects which half of the time wouldn’t even convert into income for me. It was time to take my life back so to speak.
That is pretty much just what I started doing too. I spend the next week making calculations, looking which of my blogs and websites actually brought me an income in and which had been neglected because I simply didn’t have enough hours in the day to get around to them. I made a list of the things which were personally important to me, the time I was willing to spend working on my projects and what results I needed to see in what time frame for me to find it worth the effort to continue doing them. I looked back on some of my old journals and the dreams and hopes which were written within them and realized just how many of them I had given up on simply because they didn’t bring me any income. I had turned into a working machine it appears. A computer who only knew input and output. What brought me an income and what did I have to do to make it happen. I had literally lost my humanity.
Finally once I had everything calculated out and put into a few nice and neat spreadsheets and lists I saw 20 blogs and websites which had only been entertaining for others with nothing coming back to me. Ironically a lot of those blogs had been those that I had spent a lot of time working on as well. So there were about 30 hours I could already shave off just by eliminating those 20 blogs. That is exactly what I did. I stiffened my spine and hit delete. I erased those 20 blogs from the date bases and domain registrations, killing them off as result as I do everything else in my life.
Now I have a work sheet which I follow daily with the most important things listed on the top and the “if I get to them” items towards the bottom. I set myself a real work schedule which gives me 2 days a week completely off to do just the things I feel like doing and to spend time with my husband or by myself indulging in some of my hobbies.
I have done that for about 2 weeks roughly now and the results are fabulous. I am no longer as exhausted and I can finally think a bit clearer now. Yes the money has dropped a bit more since I am not as available to others as I used to be, but in the long run that is more than worth it to me.
As long as I can still pay my bills and put a little bit aside in case of emergency I am golden. My health and my relationship with my husband is worth a lot more than the extra spending money I tried to make.
Now that you know my background to the absence let me tell you what it means for this blog. I am keeping it of course and am looking forward to keeping it up again on a regular basis. I can’t update it daily as I used to, my time just won’t allow me to do so. So I have scheduled myself to post my weekly updates here every Sunday! So come back tomorrow for you next update and don’t forget to subscribe for easier delivery.
Thank you for remaining loyal readers while I fell a bit apart. I am back and I promise to do better.
As always
Regina Sunderland
PS if you are interested in seeing what other blogs, stores and more remained are now regularly updated you can check it out on http://goddessbelladonnasempire.com please be aware that some of those are adult in nature, so read the headings carefully. Thanks
Living with your own disgust – when saying sorry just doesn’t seem good enough
Sometimes I am an extreme idiot and do something that I don’t even realize just how fucked up it really is. I mean it is almost as if something possesses me to be a complete Monster even in my own eyes and I don’t even notice I am doing it. This weekend was one of those days when I did something so wrong that I want to carve my own heart out right about now.
I didn’t see it, didn’t realize it until it was pointed out to me in a very straight forward manner the following morning. My first reactions to it were even worst. I just kept going ok, whatever… My way of letting the other person vent and talk first, but boy what a stupid thing to do when you have already done huge damage.
You know I had spend several years trying to better myself. Change my core being to someone I could be proud of and like myself. Yes I had been to that point that I couldn’t even look in the mirror because I hated the woman looking back at me. I had finally managed to like her – my reflection in the mirror until now.
I am back at that stage again and I deserve it in spades. I deserve it and so much more, because when I look at the woman in the mirror I could beat her face in and scream at her: “What the fuck is wrong with your stupid ass? How could you have been like that?”
I apologized for my behavior, but you know what saying I am sorry just doesn’t even seem to cover it. I am not just sorry, I am disgusted with myself. I am horrified at what I’ve done. I don’t deserve forgiveness for this. I know I don’t and I made someone elses life worst because of my actions. Worst yet, someone I deeply love and cherish.
To me personally when I screw up like that it is not a matter of forgive and forget. He may forgive me, but forgetting will be harder. No I didn’t cheat on him, I didn’t even think of something like that. What I done was even worst, I destroyed his pride in something he had. By laughing and agreeing with an assholes opinion. Which makes it even worst. If that person was an asshole I was an even bigger one for not standing up and telling him to shut the fuck up and get out of my house. Why the hell didn’t I do that to begin with? What was wrong with me?
I have no idea at this point how I am going to fix the damage I have done. I have no idea how I am going to get ok with myself again and get back to being able to look in the mirror without wanting to bunch myself in the mouth. I have no clue what I can do to undo what I did. That is the horrible part – it can’t be undone.
Two days later and I still feel like I need to apologize better, but saying sorry really simply isn’t good enough. It sounds so darn empty even to my own ears. I am disgusted with myself, I am horrified with myself, I wish I could carve this nasty moment out of my heart and life and I can’t do that.
You know what is even worst is that now the person harmed in this can’t even trust me. I feel as if I should lock myself into my own house, away from everyone and not even talk to anyone for a hell of a long time. Sadly I can’t do that because of my work. I have to be out there and friendly.
I don’t even know if I can trust myself anymore. Can I trust myself not to be this nasty bitch that I was? Can I trust myself not to say things because I am too stupid to think first? Can I trust myself to not let my stupid hormones get the better of me? You know what that is the hard part too. I don’t even trust myself anymore at this point.
I always prided myself in being an intelligent and loyal person. Loyalty doesn’t mean just in staying faithful, but in putting the other persons needs and ego ahead of your own. I was neither intelligent or I would have thought before acting and I was far from loyal.
Yes, at this point I hate myself.
Why do I tell you this? Because I want to give you a warning to not make my mistake. You can’t even imagine how much hurt you can put on someone and yourself in a moment of total and utter retardedness.
A very contrite
Regina S.
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- Returning after a long silence...So many things have happened in my life over the last couple of years that I honestly forgot about this little blog here. Now that my life has finally settled down a little bit again and is starting to run smoother finally I am back with more posts for you to read and hopefully enjoy. This blog is going to be updated every Thursday from now on, so feel free […]Regina Sunderland
- Love isn't always as easy as breathing!I don't know why people assume that love is always as easy as breathing. That love only is true love when there are no arguments, no misunderstandings, no disagreements. When it flows smoothly, with no boredom and one person doing 100% exactly what the other one wants them to do at all times.That isn't love, well it is a form of love and you find i […]Regina Sunderland
- Children don’t come with an instruction booklet!I would like to talk about parenting for a moment and it really doesn’t matter if that means in a two parent household, a one parent household, or an alternative lifestyle household. The results are always the same, it is one hell of a learning curve. No matter how many children you have already had […]shalamar
- Don’t get discouraged if things don’t happen overnight!Sometimes things seem to take forever to get off the ground. You put a lot of work and effort into what you are trying to achieve and you simply don’t seem to get anywhere with it. Maybe you are just starting out in a new business and your traffic is so slow no matter what […]shalamar
- Vampyre’s among us – no really!Before you think I have suddenly gone off the deep end, let me explain to you that I am not talking about the fictional Hollywood style Vampires or even pranic Vampyres, nor about those who are living with a very real illness called Porphyria. I am talking about emotional Vampyres – people who just by their […]shalamar
- Being a workaholic can destroy your health and relationships!Take it from a “recovering” workaholic the prize you have to pay for being stuck in your workaholic patterns is too high to continue on. A lot of us who have the workaholic gene in us don’t even realize what we are doing. We often confuse it with being responsible, just doing what we need […]shalamar
- Would you marry for money or for love?I had an alternative fetish (findom) caller tell me the other day that he knew just how to make me fall in love with him. Curious to see what ideas were running around his little mind I handed him the rope and let him hang himself. He proceeded to tell me that he figured that […]shalamar
- How much honesty is too much honesty?We always ask for absolute honesty from those around us, but when we receive absolute honesty we often can not handle it. Regardless if we are dealing with regular every day relationships or alternative lifestyle relationships it is still very difficult finding someone who will and can accept us for who we are and the […]shalamar
- Beware of taking your life partner too much for granted!The sad truth is that after being together with a specific person for many years and the newness of a relationship has worn off, as well as the bond or lack thereof has been shaped by situations you may have encountered and hopefully overcome together, most of us start losing interest in our partners’ life, problems […]shalamar
- Everyone deals with grief in their own way!Photo courtesy of http://freedigitalphotos.net We all have lost someone in our life before or have undergone some dramatic experiences which left our hearts feeling full of pain and anguish. Most of us feel helpless when we encounter someone who has recently lost a loved one. What can you possibly say to make it better? […]shalamar
- The joys of Christmas even if you are not a “Christian”.Picture courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net Take a look around you for a little while! I mean a really close look at everything you see for let’s say the next 2 Days. Take a look at the people you encounter, the decorations you see popping up in the Stores, the music you hear on the different […]shalamar
- Being “different” isn’t always a bad thing!photo provided by http://www.freedigitalphotos.net You would think that after thousands of years evolution accepting one another for who we are should have become a lot easier, the sad fact is that there is still a lot of bigotry, homophobes, narrow minded idiots out there who can not understand that it is our human right to […]shalamar
